Our TMSA scholars have been real troupers throughout the last 12 months. Personally, I have seen a range of emotions from my own children and have received reports from many of you about your child’s mental status and their emotional roller coaster. I was further reminded of the impacts of the pandemic and the changes with life as our kids know it right now from the article, “Children, Teens and Coronavirus Pandemic Fatigue”. The author stated:
“The kids are frustrated, angry, depressed and resentful,” she says. “They were not meant to spend their lives in front of computers. They’ve given up so much already: their springtime, their summer, sports, birthday and graduation parties, vacations and the anticipation and fun of spending winter holidays with friends and family. They’re tired.”
So are their parents.…Parents who want to keep the kids —and the rest of the family — safe from coronavirus infection are hitting an impasse with their children, who have the normal desire to socialize with their peers.
I am sharing a few excerpts from the article to help you navigate this journey. To read the full article, go to https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/coronavirus/children-teens-and-coronavirus-pandemic-fatigue.
Give space for your child to voice his/her feelings and concerns
“Older children and teens have a strong sense of justice and fairness, which drives their idealism and their passion about how the world should be. But another side of that sense relates to their own lives. As they are learning to stand up for themselves and ask for what they want and need, it can feel outrageous that they must give up so many important, pleasurable aspects of their lives when they have done nothing to deserve that.”
“Parents need to look at what they’re expecting from their children and teens as far as coping,” she says. “Kids aren’t going to be robots and just get in line and obey these restrictions without protest. It’s OK not to be OK. As hard as it is to see our children in mental pain, we must remember that their safety comes first, and that those feelings are laying the groundwork for empathy.”
Tip for parents: Give your children space to voice their sadness and frustration, and do not think their unhappiness is a reflection of your parenting. Keeping your family’s safety at the forefront is essential.
Re-frame negative thoughts
“Children and teens can beat themselves up, just as adults do from time to time,” she says. “Things we say to ourselves mentally, we would never say to a good friend. We focus on other people being smarter, cooler, more attractive. These automatic negative thoughts are a particular problem for children living with anxiety, depression, and attention problems.
“Re-framing the thoughts can reduce pain, create a more peaceful feeling, and reduce confrontations with parents and other family members,” Parrish says. “Children can learn these skills, which can make it easier to wait out the final months of coronavirus restrictions.” Re-framing is changing how you look at something. Instead of seeing only the negative see what positives you can come up with.
Tip for parents: Be on the lookout for persistent or worsening negative emotions. Reach out for professional help if needed. Mental health workers are available through telemedicine if assistance is needed. Offer empathy, validate your children’s emotions, and then help them shift their mindset.
Based on my experience with mental health and various resources I have read, here are some additional strategies to consider.
Know when additional help is needed
If you notice that you or your scholar are depressed, unmotivated, and unengaged most of the time, it is time to seek professional help. Mental health experts are skilled in helping individuals and families navigate challenges in life. Fulton County has partnerships with various facilities including Family Ties and Odyssey. It is beneficial to talk to mental health professionals versus keeping your emotions and thoughts suppressed.
Allow socializing in a safe and healthy way
We are all social beings. We all need opportunities to see and interact with others. Create occasions for your child to see a friend or two in person. Consider arranging safe outside time to connect with friends. A few ideas are playing tennis, meeting in the park with social distancing (bike riding, skating, or skateboarding are a few activities), playing charades, sidewalk art (with chalk), or simply talking to catch up with one another. If the adults coordinate it, you can better control the safety factor. Our scholars need these social interactions twice a month at least.
Keep hope alive
It is easy to become depressed and discouraged with pandemic fatigue. Many people are unmotivated, unengaged with daily activities, and just plain tired. Our scholars are no different. Reminder for you and them: Find hope in the little things you have going on around you. Consider the new hobbies you and your scholar have started, new activities you have engaged in, and the people and things you are grateful for. Maintaining a healthy perspective will keep you motivated and inspired.
Positive affirmations
Affirming the positive attributes in your life or about your personality are extremely therapeutic and beneficial. Find poems, quotes, scriptures, proverbs, or pictures that inspire or affirm aspects that are positive reminders for you. Send positive affirmations to yourself, your scholar, and others periodically and notice how uplifted you feel. Keep positive affirmations in front of your scholar. They need it especially now.
There are tons of resources available to help defeat pandemic fatigue. Figure out what is best for you and your scholar. Springtime is typically a difficult time for scholars to remain motivated and focused. Now, with the pandemic still lurking and springtime on the way, it is especially difficult for our scholars. Don’t worry, you now have a few tools to add to your toolkit. Begin implementing your tools today!
Kyri Harris
School Counselor
The Main Street Academy